Sunday, January 11, 2009


I am learning all the time.
It is all so ridiculously interesting, this swirl of life-
and confusing. What with winter break and everything having broken.
Breaking barriers and mind fucks and all the shit that just builds up only to break- ironically this time in something called a "break".
My friends are beautiful unique things to view. I love them. The new ones and the old ones. I love what they do and how they move and talk to me. I love being bored with them and having exciting times with them. I love my memories of them. Their faults are mine as mine are theirs- that's why the bullshit happens- being that we're all intertwined and shit- it's inevitable. Friends cause the negative times and unknowingly teach of how a positive time is so fucking good. Who knows what you'll learn. Who knows how you'll feel.

I saw the new year come 2009 times- every time with a new kiss of outlook. Every year has its own. I saw new friends and felt good. I drank liquor on liquor and threw up 2009 way after that ball dropped (like the ball matters). It's always a new year every time. I planted some half unwanted seeds and people and watched'em sprout in between people and then listened to people talk about the sprout. I was a cause and I affected. I have some new affection and hope for it. I drank liquor moments and got stuck in a snow and an ice. I smoked some paranoid marijuana and some indifferent marijuana and some good times pot. I made some praying musics. I talked on the phone and my ear melted off. I got jealous and talked unnecessary shit and then thought about it and was like, what the fuck. I confronted the same old demon. I- I- I- I- did this and that and i was sore from the exercise of it all. I saw my family and played banjo with my grandfather. I saw little humans that will grow . I got some material effects, bonded with my father, bonded with my mothers sickness (again), bonded with myself. I am doing a hard chore for myself. I am saying, "fuck you inhibition and all your evils and fuck you blemish in your symbolics and fuck you oracle and your lessons". IT"S ALL ME NOW. Some kind of battle- I've already survived up until this sickly little year- even after all the musket balls that are lodged in my frail little skull and mind. Fighting for the country of myself and staying alive. My flag was wrapped around my eyes though for half the fight- so i wished it translucent. Goodbye to you self-conscious, worried, frightened Dean. I'll miss your soft face. Still learning as we speak and I'm a good little student. Can I pass the test? What would I do without my friends- probably rot with no advice on how to do it properly. I love you guys sincerely no matter where you go and I'm not just talking of the ones in the pictures.

1 comment:

  1. -the first to post, not to think.

    borderline overwhelming in a spiritualthankyoufortheprogressivedepth
    that was made possible for display on a screen with letters.

    this blog was a good idea. i hope you continue it.

    this entry of Friends, it sends a warming message, partially informative & quite helpful.

    thanks for the phone call
    and the message