Friday, December 4, 2009


Hopefully not the last gift.
I'll let you do what you need-
I hope you come back, but if not i'll spend the longest winter of my life,
biting my fingernails with a broken heart.
,but it's not all about me.
I want you to be happy and know you want me
,but you're so young that you don't know what you want.
and I can not keep you from figuring that out- but I hope it's me.
I miss you already.
crossing my fingers in an absolute worry and thought.
I wish I would have acted differently, but I'm a wreck.
Maybe I don't love myself enough.
I don't want this to be the death.
I feel as if I'm grieving.
I'm going to get my shit together.
With a job and a warm house to live in.
I'm going to go to school eventually-
deal with the shit so I can thrive.
Those who can not endure the bad will not live to see the good.
The man on top of the mountain did not fall there.
Every one tried to tell me- but I'm too stubborn.
Another fucked episode in the life of Dean Cercone.
It's so hard to be stable and lazy at the same time.
I'm losing my Gem- and I am so sad.